Tips for Practicing Kindness and Compassion with People Whose Choices Disturb You.

There are some situations that cause affective changes, resulting in our change of mood. We may experience sadness, disappointment, depression, anger, anxiety, threat, and/or impatience.  When we analyze how we feel, we realize our emotional downswings are directly related to someone we love:  a relative, or a close friend.

Although other aspects of our lives are going well we get thrown off course when we need to deal with these people.  We feel upset knowing that the choices they make seem irresponsible or unhealthy. Sometimes the difficulties arise from views that are diametrically opposed to our own.

When the person we interact with is someone we live with their unhappiness and often unconscious internal suffering contributes to our personal torment and worry.  We can be supportive of the person while managing our own well being, even as we witness their behaviors or ruminations that are unhelpful.

Judging Doesn’t Help.  Acknowledge the fact that at this point in the person’s life, his or her way of dealing with negativity are counter to what is healthy for them.  We can listen to them and if they are responsive, talk with an open heart, without judgment; sharing our concern about his or her choices and consequences of their actions.

Find Solace in Reflection.  We can ask for support and pray for our own strength as well as their strength to heal this person’s emotional and spiritual wounds and scars. Meditate and focus on their well being, sending thoughts and visualizations of health, contentment, and safety. A loving-kindness meditation can be helpful.

Appreciate our Wisdom…which is an accumulation of years of experience and guidance, and be grateful for all we have in our lives that help us. Understand that we are all unique and that even though we may THINK we have the right answer, that our answer is from our perspective and for our life.

Daily caring for ourselves and focusing on the well being of the person for whom we are concerned can help us diminish the negative effects of their choices on our own health.