Discovering Patience

It’s when things go wrong that you can really tell what you need to know about a person. As I continue to learn from the people I meet through everyday life and work … it’s easy to be married when things are going well.

The real challenge is to figure out how to remain kind and respectful and compassionate to your partner when one or both of you are experiencing tough times, even if those times are momentary.

Patience is a virtue and an important attribute which enhances every relationship. When someone “loses” their patience, the damage can take its toll.

Good times together can suddenly turn sour when you or your partner lose patience. It can be something as mundane as waiting on line at the grocery store while someone ahead of you needs to exchange an item, or waiting for a parking attendant who is taking longer than you are comfortable with to find your car. In either case someone is making a very human mistake.

Losing your temper and your cool really isn’t very cool! And to be sure, if you are near children, they are watching and learning.

What are these children learning when we fly off the handle? That yelling at others is an acceptable way to deal with our own frustration? What are they absorbing about dealing with life’s unpredictable snags when the immediate reaction we model for them is demonstrating our anger by shouting at others?

Each of us has the capacity to learn to value the humanness in every person. One way we can do this is by being mindful of the situation and choosing our patience when we are stressed. It is true that some of us have “longer fuses ” than others, but we can lengthen a shorter fuse when we have the desire to do so.

Partners can be very helpful in reminding us of the value of developing patience for ourselves as well as for others.