SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

It is possible to have balance in your life IF you understand that, like a see-saw, balance takes some delicate shifting and constant monitoring. Invariably, life, like that see-saw, will have someone jumping off the other end and send you flying. That's life, but also part of the balancing act.

Some times are much more challenging than others. The way to deal with the everyday and the unexpected is to have a formula in place. Instead of hanging on to old habits which may not work anymore, think about what makes your life work.

Visualize yourself juggling lots of life balls (name each one: children, partner, work, friends, housekeeping, community service, fitness, social life, older parents, spiritual life, hobbies, etc.) and notice that when one or more balls fall, you likely focus on those rather than the ones you are still juggling.

Some of those balls on the floor need to be put down for a while; a day, a week, a year, longer, while some balls get bigger and smaller. The work ball may be manageable until your peer gets laid off and you are now handling more of a workload than is reasonable. The family ball may be manageable until you pick up the phone and learn that your father who lives 2,000 miles away had a stroke and your brother is out of the country. So, putting those balls down when you have to in order to keep balance is a healthy thing to do.

The one ball you don't want to put down, no matter what is going on, is the "take care of me" ball. You need to keep that one in the air (a walk in the morning, a quiet meditation, reading a list of the things you are grateful for, etc.). This is the ball that allows you to keep many of the others in the air.

Work life balance is about maintaining reasonable expectations, understanding that things will be out of balance from time to time. Everything is temporary. You focus on small areas of your life to maintain balance during particularly difficult times (bringing your best friend with you when go to a scary doctor's appointment), keeping your eye on the important aspects of life, being grateful for that which you already have, taking care of yourself, being as organized as possible (so you find your keys quickly) inviting, training, and allowing people to help (teaching your partner or your kids how to shop for food, prepare healthy meals), appreciate and be satisfied with "less than perfect."

So, take a breath, be fully present, smile, and appreciate that moment.

TODAY Show (NBC)

Please check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for the most current updates.

Silver Bridge Advisors
Feb. 2: 6PM Panel Discussion: Raising Financially Thoughtful Children.
Institute of Contemporary Art/Boston

RIDBC Renwick Centre, Royal Institute for Deaf and Blind Children
Feb. 22nd-24th: Keeping the Balance: Professionals, Families, Children and Young Adults with Sensory Impairment
North Rocks, Australia

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

See Making the Case for Family Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case- family-dinner/3-a-62563

See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's article, Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform Judaism Magazine, Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www .reformjudaismmag.org. There is also a complimentary discussion guide offering thoughtful questions for conversation.

Five Minute Breaks

When you are run down and feeling drained, the choices you make are not the same as when you are feeling energized. Taking frequent 5-minute breaks throughout your day helps to reduce your level of stress. Consider walking outside, visualizing your goals already accomplished, breathing deeply from your belly, or listening to your favorite music as you dance.

Dating when you are over 50 may seem intimidating. You may worry about not being as attractive as when you were younger. Or, that you are "out of practice" or that your "best years" are behind you. In addition, the rules of the dating world and game have changed. It is less formal and more internet based.

Rather than focus on the negative, look at the positive about yourself. You do not need to feel overwhelmed by either the process or the prospects. Remind yourself that you are experienced, more mature, and likely have confidence that you may not have had in your youth.

Here are some tips for for moving forward:

Go Online - Use the internet not just as a way to find Mr. or Miss Right, but expand your network. Meet new and reconnect with people from your past with similar interests as yours. Look at social networking sites such as MEETUP.COM and FACEBOOK. Be careful not to give too much personal information (phone numbers, addresses, e-mail addresses etc.). Meet people at public places . Tell a friend where you are, check in with them so your date knows someone knows where you are.

Consider What Is Really Important To You - What was important when you were younger (starting a family, financial security) may not be as important now (having fun, companionship, comfort, kindness, adventure). Are you looking for someone to marry? Someone to be connected to without legal entanglement? Someone to date or travel with or go to dinner with? Someone to have a sexual relationship with? Be clear about what you want and what is non-negotiable.

Approach Dating As An Adventure - Be open and have a positive attitude. Keep it light and be forgiving, flexible, tolerant about age and appearance. Go out of your comfort zone and consider meeting people from different backgrounds, age groups, cultures, races, and religions.

Widen Your Experiences - You need to be interesting. Keep current and aware of what is "hip and in." Engage the people you meet. Enroll in a class, learn something you are curious about, begin a hobby, and develop a passion that has been on hold.

Keep both your mind and heart open. Appreciate that dating today is different from the way it was and that can be a very good thing. Take initiative, take a risk, and learn about yourself in the process.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."

Albert Einstein