SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

The term "geographic single" is often used to describe persons who live apart from those they love. Families are experiencing strains that did not exist for them before, forcing them to make all sorts of changes and adjustments. They become "commuter marrieds" for the sake of a paycheck. The global economy has built in expectations that people can live far from where they work, and technology makes it possible.

Some people are taking opportunities in places where they don't want to move their family, or they don't want to uproot their children and their social and support networks. Others may not be able to afford to have their spouses give up their income. In addition, buying or selling a house may just not be feasible in this market. In "the olden days" people often lived apart because it was often the best way to earn money to support their families. Many immigrants still live this way. One or two family members live in "the country of opportunity" and support the rest of the clan from afar with the hope of making enough money to return to their country and live a better life. Alternatively, they work toward the time that they will send for their families to join them here. However most people in the USA are used to a model of living together on a regular basis. They rely on regular interaction and participating in activities such as eating meals, daily routines, sharing family oriented activities, household responsibilities and decision-making together.

If you and your partner face a situation of living apart, it is a good idea to have an open discussion of the upcoming separation and how you will cope. Discuss your concerns and fears honestly. Share your expectations about being apart from each other so there are fewer opportunities for misunderstandings. Discuss your expectations for visits and vacations. Develop a plan for establishing areas of responsibilities and decision-making when you are separated.

Good communication is essential to keeping your couple and family relationship healthy, especially during separations. Be mindful of how you will stay connected over the miles; how you will "keep it going." Set up a communication system and know how you will be in touch on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. International phone calls, video teleconferencing through computer, SKYPE, international mail services, and electronic transmissions of words, cards, music, photos, and video keep you connected to your loved ones through cyberspace. LIFE IS STILL IN THE DETAILS so keep that in mind when you find ways to enrich your relationships even if you are on the other side of the world.

During this time, plan for chunks of time together, not just an occasional weekend. Think in terms of several days. When you are together, plan alone time where you will not talk about the "business" of work and family. Be sure to focus on fun, dreams, romance, and just "being".

When the family is together, do 'family" activities. The spouse who lives out of the house can feel as if he or she is an outsider in their own home or family. They can feel as if they are "missing" something.. Rejoining the family in fun activities allows the everyone to acclimate to one another and pick up the rhythm of the family and household.

TODAY Show (NBC)
Please check www.drdaleatkins.co m for current appearances.

Counseling Workshop: For Professionals Working with Families Affected by Hearing Loss
March 16: 9AM - 12:00PM, Speaker, Topic: Counseling Issues for Non-Counselors
The Children's Hearing Institute, 380 Second Ave., New York, NY 10010.
Register online at www.childrens hearing.org

See article, Avoiding Wedding Woes, in Image Magazine, Issue No.1, 2009. pg. 40.

See also Black Tie International Magazine, March 2009, for Dale's Sanity Saving Tips at www.blacktiemagazine.com.

Everyday Rituals

With so many changes in the workplace and in our daily lives, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of peace, tranquility, and belonging. Everyday rituals can be a source of encouragement, comfort and reassurance. They can also help us gain insight when we are dealing with change.

Morning coffee and reading the newspaper, walking the dog along a familiar path, calling a friend at the same time each week can be simple ways to ritualize a familiar pattern. Everyday routines can become rituals if you pay close attention to them and focus on the change you hope to experience.

Keep it simple. Rituals can be as simple as lighting a candle or filling a vase with flowers or thinking a special thought. The object is comfort.

Because teens are not quite children and not quite adults, they can often feel isolated and powerless in a world that wants them to grow up and excel but does so by giving them mixed signals. All of these pressures, along with the normal physical and emotional changes of adolescence, cause many teens to experience depression and turn to drugs or engage in other forms of behavior that usually have a negative impact on them and their sense of selves.

As adults in our children's lives we need to look for early warning signs and intervene compassionately, responding with appropriate concern and action. These are some warning signs when teens become depressed:

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.

Gilda Radner