|
Greetings!
As we have a taste of autumn and get into
routines we have an opportunity to think
about what we might do if we had a second
chance with someone, how would we behave? What
would we do if we were able to revisit an
experience that we are not happy about that
occurred in our lives? How would we respond
if we were in the position of giving someone
a second chance? For many of us we don't ever
have that opportunity but for some, we may
have a chance to "make something right." In
Second Chances I discuss what it takes
to make those interactions successful.
In this month's tips, Transitioning From
Work to Home I offer practical
suggestions for keeping yourself balanced as
you integrate (some might say juggle) the
different parts of yourself needed for the
various roles you assume at work and at home.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
for updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity
Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced
Life. I am proud to be a member of the
Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose
is to
help people live the best life wherever they
are. Please click Westin
Renewal Council for some personal renewal
tips. And if you
would like
me to speak to your group or organization,
please contact me directly at
dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the
Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
your
friends, loved ones and colleagues by
clicking Send
to a Friend button below.
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
Dale
Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
In Bookstores! |
 |
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Live A
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
is filled
with suggestions to save
your
sanity
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
|
Sanity SaversTM
Second Chances |
|
Do you believe every individual deserves a
second chance? There is value in second
chances, and it is worthwhile to consider
what we can do when we get them.
We do not have the right to judge others,
and with this in mind everyone deserves a
second chance. Second chances
are about having faith in the ability
to make
changes in those who want the second
chance as well as those who are giving the second
chance.
The underlying question is whether the person
who gets the second chance appreciates having
the opportunity to "make something right".
When someone does something that warrants a
second chance they often do not realize the
consequences of their actions (the first
time) on the other person (or people). The
person who is getting a second chance needs
to develop empathy.
If someone does not have empathy and cannot
appreciate the hurt or disappointment or loss
of confidence or trust, then they are not as
likely to
understand the magnitude of this second
chance and they may whittle it away.
Additionally, the person who is "giving" the
other person a second chance has to be able
to let go of the need to punish or
remind them that they are on "thin ice." If
you are not able to
allow the past to stay in the past and give
this person the love and encouragement
necessary to "begin again" and make
something
right, then the chances for success are slim.
When an opportunity to experience a second
chance arises, think about what you REALLY
want. How do you think your life will be
different or better if you were to have the
opportunity to have a second chance? What
would that feel like? Think about what you
specifically need to do to make that change
happen.
People need to be able to act as if they
already had the second chance so they can see
themselves as the person they want to be.
They need to practice, through role play,
how they will react if all of the
circumstances remain the same and they face
the same obstacles. For example, if
they are dealing with their own volatile
temper and their
spouse does something to infuriate them,
how will they use their second chance to
react differently?
Can you forgive yourself or someone else?
Can you attempt to understand
what propelled you or them to this behavior?
If you can, you may open yourself to the
possibility of unseen benefits to you
and the
other person.
|
| Happenings |
|
TODAY Show (NBC)
Today -Weekend Edition
Please check the website
www.drdaleatkins.com
for updated
listings.
New Morning Show
Please check the website
www.drdaleatkins.com
for updated
listings.
Hallmark Channel, 7:00am
WOR Morning Show
With Joe Bartlett and
Donna Hanover
October 1, 5-9AM: Topic: Tania
Head
Interviewed by Joe Bartlett and
Lisa Birnbach
Radio 710 HD, New York City
NYC Child Study Center, Monthly
Supervision Luncheon
October 15th, 12-1:30PM: Guest Speaker,
Topic: Caring for Aging Parents
New York, NY
Makor Program
October 16th, 2-3:15PM:
Women in Midlife: Crisis or
Opportunity?
New York City
http://www.92y.org/shop/event_detail.asp?productid=T%2DMD5LP03
Because We Are Women: Celebrating
Possibilities
October 20th, 8AM -3:00PM: Featured Guest
Speaker, Sanity
Savers: Balancing Your Life and Getting What
You Want
The Palace at Somerset Park,
Somerset,
NJ
http://www.becausewearewomen.com/index.htm
|
Sanity SaversTM
A Good Daily Habit |
|
Breaking a Habit
Do you have a habit you would like to break?
Our habits are very tied to "triggers" that
have become routine. For example, if you
always get a cup of
coffee at your local coffee shop and want to
cut down on caffeine, take a different
route. Cross the street and try healthier
herb tea at a different place. When you
alter the
environment, the time of day, the
"connections" to the habit it is easier
to change your behavior.
Rewards may keep you motivated and may lead
to a new, positive habit in your life.
|
Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for Transitioning:
From Work to Home |
|
Fall is here and your kids have settled
into their school routine. You are getting
back into your own schedule. Then why do you
find yourself rushing and
whizzing through your life, flitting from
thing to thing?
If this describes you, you may need to pay
attention to transitions. Give yourself space
to think, to
reflect, to feel the results of what you are
doing, with whom you spend time, and the
effects of your daily life experiences. Pay
attention
to your breath, your physical response to
things so you can observe what is going on.
In a demanding world with practically
non-stop communication,
transitioning from one thing to another, in
particular from work to home, can be a
challenge.
When you choose to shut out the rest of the
world to have time and space for yourself, and
those relationships that are meaningful to
you, consider these tips:
- Take Time Out - Decide and declare
phone free, cell free, blackberry free, text
message free, e-mail free, computer free
times so you can truly be responsive to
yourself, your significant other, children or
parents.
- Unwind Before Coming Home -
During the last part of your commute,
designate time to listen to music or a book
on tape, work a crossword puzzle, knit, or
write in a journal. Stop talking on the cell
phone or texting or sending work related
e-mails. You are better off winding down and
shifting gears so whe you gear up for work
you will have a new perspective.
- Visualize Yourself Feeling "At
Home" -
Before you walk through the door, take a deep
breath. See yourself calmly interacting.
- Establish New Routines -Walk in,
walk around and feel the
space. Change out of your work clothes.
Slowly drink a glass of water, take a deep
breath and then begin your evening routine
(prepare dinner, sort through the mail, and
listen to your voicemail.).
- Greet Those At Home -If you live with
people, greet them in a way you would like to be
greeted. Look happy to see them . If there are
children waiting for you, give a hug,
physically get down to their level and ask
them to tell you
something about their day. Listen. Be
present. If you have pets,
acknowledge them and spend a few moments
together.
By transitioning from work to home and
allowing yourself to fully experience being
at home and appreciating your space and those
in it, you will be better able to be present
for yourself and those with whom you live.
Figure out what you need to do to transform
your home into a sanctuary instead of a
stress filled zone.
|
| A Thought |
|
|
If you are not going to be any better
tomorrow than you were today, then what need
have you for tomorrow?
Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav
|
|
|
|
|
|
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
appears
on the Today show. She has more than twenty-
five
years of experience and focuses on living a
balanced
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
life &
work transitions, family connections and healthy
relationships. Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
SistersFrom the
Heart:
Men
and
Women Write
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Lives
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
Children
I'm
OK, You're My Parents
How
to Overcome
Guilt,
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Works
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Day.And her
new
book . . .
Sanity
Savers: Tips for Women to
Live a
Balanced Life.
Find out more....
|
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
I'm OK
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That WorksNow in Paperback!
|
