SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

Many of us are quite clear about making sure we have a "last will and testament" or a "living will" letting others know our desires if we are unable to make choices for ourselves when faced with medical decisions. Few of us, though, are just as clear about the footprint in the sand that we want to leave. This is a gift for our families, friends and community. You can do this by writing an ethical will.

Over time, whether our families live near or far from us, we may or may not take the time or create the situation to engage with them in the way we would like. With focus, clarity and intention, you can share your thoughts, feelings, and values with those you love. You can do this in writing, on film, video, DVD, audio tape, or any way that suits you. And you can choose to reveal the contents of this during your lifetime or leave it for after your death.

The point is that you give those who are dear to you a look at what was and is important to you; how you viewed and view life. Composing an ethical will can help you healthfully confront and come to terms with death. The process can help you to focus on what had meaning in your life and helps to provide closure. Your relatives and friends may or may not know your life story, why you made the choices you did, and what you learned along the way. It can be helpful to you and to them if you share specific life lessons that you learned that changed or reinforced your values. You may wish to consider where and how forgiveness factors in, and what were some of the dreams you had and did not share.

You can ask yourself questions to begin the thought process and take notes or record your responses. This is not a "one shot experience." You can keep a notebook and write in it as you feel inspired and then edit it (or not) with information that is uniquely yours about your personal values; what they are and how they have evolved and changed over time.

Ethical wills are not legal documents, but they may be the most important gift you can leave to the people in your life.

TODAY Show (NBC)
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New Morning Show
September 17th: We're All a Work in Progress
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Caring for a Pet

If you live alone, have an empty nest, or have recently retired, having the right pet companionship can save your sanity while enhancing the quality of your life. Caring for a pet helps you stay balanced as you experience the joy of caregiving and become the recipient of unconditional love.

Companionship comes in many forms. Do not overlook the value of the human-pet bond.

Moving through mourning can take a VERY LONG TIME. Life is filled with loss. Although we may try to avoid it, it is unavoidable. Each of us needs to find our own style and timeframe for mourning.

For some people, particularly those of us who have experienced multiple losses in a short period of time, we ask, Why Me? We wonder whether feelings of happiness, pleasure, appreciation will ever return. We seriously question when we will be able to go through a day without crying for most of it.

At the same time, we are not really sure whether we can truly be ourselves when we are with those who love us and who have supported us through our darkest times. We fear they may have had enough of our anguish. We may feel our friends expect us to "bounce back", "get on with our lives", "stop feeling sorry for ourselves" but the truth is, we just don't have the energy, desire, interest, or skills to rebuild a shattered life. To protect them (and ourselves) we may spend more time alone so we can avoid the pressure to put on a happy face or act as if we are doing better than we actually are.

Bear in mind that healing from loss is a process that generally takes longer than we imagine. Perhaps these tips can help.

Remembered joys are never past; at once the fountain, stream, and sea, they were, they are, they shall yet be.

J. Montgomery